Seven-year-old me sits at my grandmother’s feet, looking up at her, transfixed by the words coming out of her mouth. I’m in my apartment in Mumbai, but my mind is on the war fields of Kurukshetra, watching the conflict between the Pandavas and the Kauravas.
Fast forward six years, I’m a freshly minted teenager, and utterly obsessed with the Percy Jackson series. I convince myself I'm a daughter of Poseidon, and everything around me becomes a divine sign from my godly father. I associate everything with Greek culture and mythology. I go to the beach, watch the waves wash over, and imagine my godly father is communicating with me.
That summer, I forced my actual, human father to take me to Greece. I plan the whole trip based on the culture and mythology I'm interested in. Instead of going to Santorini or Mykonos like most, I visit the temples of various Greek Gods across Athens. I go to Delphi, where it is believed the Oracle lies. I'm utterly fascinated the entire trip, taking notes in my journal, reading every museum plaque, and taking pictures wherever I go. This world I've always imagined as fantastical was now before me. The myth was becoming reality.
I've always been obsessed with mythology, those fantastical stories that influence our cultures and beliefs. Reading mythical stories was an immersive experience for me, one that led me to believe in various myths and aspects about the Universe and the Cosmos. It all goes back to the tale my grandmother told me, the Mahabharata. My first mythological story, and perhaps the most influential to my identity as it came from my own culture and was the basis of my family’s religion. Growing up, I read various iterations of the Mahabharata and even watched TV shows and movies based on the myths.
The Mahabharata is one of the main epics in Indian mythology, and there has been a lot of archaeological and literary evidence found to prove that something like the myth really did happen. The story is based on a familial conflict between two sets of cousins: the Pandavas and the Kauravas. Both have some sort of a legitimate claim to the throne of their kingdom, Hastinapur. Each character in this story has distinct characteristics and roles to play. In the five Pandavas, the eldest brother Yudhistir is the wise and truthful; Arjun is the warrior; Bheem is the strong brute; Nakul is the beautiful one; and Sahadev is the brains. The Pandavas are widely considered to be the ‘good side’. There are a hundred Kauravas, but only one brother has a focused character: Duryodhana, the evil cousin, the schemer, the unethical one (R.K. Narayan, p.1).
Out of all of these complex characters, I've always found Arjun the most beguiling. His passion for being a warrior and fighting for the high kingdom reflects my passion for social justice. The moral dilemmas he wrestles with during the myth are fascinating and have influenced Indian philosophy greatly. There are various other characters in the myth, from different gods, deities, other royal family members, and members of the court.
The reason the Mahabharata resonated with me so strongly is fairly simple: I love a good story, as reflected by my love for Greek mythology in Percy Jackson and literature . A familial conflict, various interesting characters going through their own moral dilemmas, mythical creatures, gods, and magical weapons are all ingredients for an enchanting story. My favorite aspect of the myth is the interactions between the various gods and humans. It's very similar to how the gods interact with heroes in Greek mythology.
I also love the representation of gods. There is this narrative that Indian society is repressive and has always been as such, but I strongly argue that it is colonization that has set us back. In the Mahabharata, there are various trans and gender-fluid deities, showing that Hinduism and Indian society were originally never homophobic or transphobic. In the Mahabharata, you see all these different gods who rule over different elements and aspects of nature, like Agni the God of Fire, or Indra, the God of Rain. Apart from these nature gods, you have gods for each virtue or aspect of existence. There’s Shiva, the God of Destruction; Lakshmi, the Goddess of Wealth and Saraswati, the Goddess of Knowledge. Shiva is my personal favorite deity, who is in charge of destroying all evil and fear. I also find myself connecting with Durga, the Warrior Goddess, and the Hindu representative of the Divine Feminine. I grew up learning about these gods as my spiritual guides and hearing their names in echoing chants.
I've never been one for organized religion; it seems suspiciously like a dictatorship to me, living under the so-called power and rules of one singular ‘god’ whose existence can’t always be proved. I prefer to believe in polytheistic religions that have deities based on nature and the elements of the Universe, like Hinduism and Greek mythology. This is the main reason I love the Mahabharata. It reminds me of the diversity in Hinduism, a system of spiritual beliefs with deities that emphasize various different values. It reminds me of the culture I'm a part of ,and the admirable country India was before colonization.The story makes me proud to be an Indian.
I've always had a complicated relationship with my country. I've never really loved what India is today. How can I, as a leftist woman of color who is interested in activism, specifically women's rights and reproductive justice? How can I love a country that oppresses those who I myself seek to advocate for?
However, the one thing that connects me to my country is the culture, the mythical stories, and Hinduism. I'm not a super religious person, but then again Hinduism is not a super religious religion. To me, Hinduism at its core is more about spirituality. If there is one thing I value about my Indian identity, one thing I find fascinating, its Hindu spirituality.
Within the legend of the Mahabharata is the Bhagavad Gita, one of the main religious - or should I say philosophical- texts in Hinduism. It is a dialogue between the warrior Arjun, who is hesitant to fight his friends and family, and the God Krishna, his spiritual guide. The text deals with topics like reincarnation, karma, cosmic duty, universal virtues, enlightenment and describes the relationship between a human and the Universe. These are the same values of spirituality that are central to my identity and belief system.
When I was younger, I would pray every night. Not out of fear, but out of gratitude. The gods and goddesses were my guides, my divine friends, not people who sought to punish me at every turn. As I’ve grown older, however, I’ve become more spiritual than religious. I can’t really remember the last time I prayed. I muttered a mantra for the god Shiva when I was getting my first tattoo, and that mantra is something I return to in times of fear. But my Hindu identity is mostly spiritual as of now.
I adhere to many of the principles talked about in the Mahabharata and consequently the Bhagavad Gita. I believe in karma, and that belief affects me on a daily basis. I strive to be a good person and ensure that I'm having a positive impact on society not only because I want to, but because I believe it will give me good karma. One’s karma connects to their destiny or fate, and I've a strong sense of divine destiny, knowing that what I want to do will happen as long as I stay on the right path.
I also have a strong sense of dharma, or duty to society. As someone passionate about activism and social change, I've always known that if I don't change my society for the better, I've not fulfilled the purpose of my life. As such, the very core of my being, my purpose and my goals are influenced by the principles of the Mahabharata and consequently Hinduism. Every action I take, every decision I make is a result of my deep-seated spiritual beliefs, which were sowed by the Mahabharata.
One of the most fascinating theories in the Bhagavad Gita is the concept of the self and the Self (Easwaran, p.127). The ‘self’ is just the individual., but the ‘Self’ is a cosmic energy that exists within everyone, and we each share this energy with Bhraman, the supreme spirit of the Universe which is eternal and unchanging. What I find really fascinating about this concept is that each one of us has divinity inside us. This means that we have the power of the Universe within us, and are capable of doing whatever we want just as long as we harness that power and align with the Universe. This spiritual knowledge has allowed me to build my own confidence and know that I am in charge of my destiny and whatever I can put my mind to, I can achieve.
One way of aligning with your divinity and the power of the Universe is manifesting, and consequently the law of attraction. Manifesting has become a trend in recent months, with tutorials on manifesting your dreams all over Tiktok, and apps like Amino that build communities around such practices. But spiritual practices like manifesting are not trends, rather they align with the core values of Hinduism. Manifesting is essentially believing that what you want to happen will happen, and thus through the universal laws of attraction, achieving your goal. It's simply having an unwavering belief in yourself and the Universe. Of course, it's not just saying something will happen. You have to take steps to work towards it all while knowing you will benefit from your hard work.
Initially, I didn’t know much about manifesting barring the trendy stuff. I thought writing down ‘I will get into Stanford’ three times on a piece of paper was all that manifesting was. But I’ve done more research, and have learnt that manifesting is not wanting, but embodying what you want and acting as if you already have it. Basically, fake it till you make it. If you keep wanting something, the Universe will only breed more wanting in you, that's how the law of attraction works. But if you are content, confident, and have full faith, you will attract more positivity and achieve your goals.
I started a manifestation and spirituality journal last year, during my senior year of high school, which is an important year. In the journal, I have written myself multiple love letters, or letters of reflection relating to any insecurities or worries that I may have. I have also manifested in this journal, by writing journal entries set in the future where I reflect on how I have everything I’ve ever wanted.
An area of my life I’ve used manifestation in is love and companionship. I've been struggling with being alone in my youth. For a long time, I kept wanting a relationship or more friendships. This only bred more wanting and pining. I’ve realized now that I need to embody the feeling of love and affection into my own life, and the Universe will give me more of that. Last Saturday, I took myself on a date. No friends, no partners. Just me, good food, and some hearty self-reflection. I also love romance novels and movies. Earlier when I would read about a touching romantic moment, I would pine and wonder “When will this be me?”. Now, when I watch Nick propose to Jess on New Girl, I smile and say to myself “This is me, I've endless love in my life, I'm deserving of all the love and affection in the world”. As such, I'm embodying what I want within myself. This has helped me become more content, confident and grateful.
It’s fascinating to think about how a story my grandmother told me has influenced me so greatly and made me who I'm today. Without the Mahabharata, I wouldn’t have found my love for mythology and fantasy, nor my deep sense of spirituality. In the end, I don't need much reason to love and cherish the Mahabharata. It's a story I've been told since I was a child, my understanding of it having changed every time I hear it, alongside my perception of the world.
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