Sometimes it feels like everything in my life is going wrong. My contact had a bit of fuzz on it, so in the process of shaking it off, I flung the contact itself into oblivion, never to be found. Do you know how painstakingly important it is to conserve month long contest? I had to open a new pack, throwing off my cycle. Oh, and I am out of eye contact solution and my toothpaste has dried up! Then, I make myself a disgustingly watery glass of coffee, not due to a lack of trying. I blame the coffee beans. As I left for work, in a dejected trance, it was only 10 mins before a man started following me. I had to call my mother in portland, where it was 12 am, and I broke down to her on my way to work.
Sometimes I get so caught up in my fantasies I create imaginary conversations in my head, crafting dialogue specifically, thinking about the words I would say carefully, dissociating completely from my surroundings. Sometimes I don’t engage in this practice, this viceful mediation as much. Those are the times perhaps that I am most content in my real life, living out my fantasies in real tine, busy, happy, present to my surroundings. I retreat into those mystical fantasies and curated conversations as my safe haven when I feel isolated, alone, despaired.
コメント